Hold On...
(This is a repost from http://iambeloved2.wordpress.com she is a remarkable young lady, who writes from the heart, I am sure if you read this post you will agree. )I have a strong dislike for Christian music. However, lately I have found myself turning WJTL on during my 45 minute morning drive. I love meeting God in the early morning hours and I think this is part of the reason why I randomly turned it on early this week. I was met with a song that hit me in the gut. I have no idea who this band is or if they are any good, but the lyrics felt like they were meant for me in that exact moment.
She sits alone and wonders When is the end of broken dreams This isn’t what I pictured She said as tears rolled down her cheeks She needs a friend beside her She’s looking for a savior Hold on Hold on Someone will find you Hold on Hold on Somebody loves you She grabs her coat to leave So sure it’s gonna be the end Another broken family Tears are her only friends This isn’t the life they wanted She’s hoping that heaven comes through Hold on Hold on Someone will find you Hold on Hold on Somebody loves you Yeah Hold on Hold on You’re not drowning this time Hold on Hold on Look for the search lights Does anybody care Do you even see Look past my skin Do you see me Do you even know what I’m going through I need to talk to someone Can I talk to you Does anybody care Do you even see I’m running out of hope and sanity Do you even know what I’m going through I’m having a hard time facing the truth Does anybody care Does anybody care Does anybody care Oh Hold on Hold on Someone will find you Hold on Hold one Somebody loves you Hold on Hold on You’re not drowning this time Hold on Hold on Look for the search lights Hold on Hold on – Abandon
Lately, I have been feeling lonely. I have no explanation for this. I have family and friends surrounding me. I experience love and joy from people on a daily basis. I nanny three kids who keep me laughing and who have parents that are wonderfully generous people to work for. God has provided me with amazing people who will drop anything to be there for me. Yet, I feel like something is missing.
So, I run to my human relationships when I am getting emotionally needy. I hit up Twitter and Facebook, hoping to feel accepted. I seek out male attention when I need a boost. I flirt shamelessly. I smile when I am sad in an attempt to look good. I listen when needed, offer advice when asked, try to provide words of wisdom. I go through the motions of relationships when I am lonely and seeking something to fill the void. Only to come up empty. I blame it on people….. but, in reality I am looking in the wrong place.
Often times I am looking for something deeper and I think the Lord brings loneliness into my heart as a means of drawing me closer to Him. While my human relationships are beyond important, no one can fulfill me the way that my Abba can. I so easily forget this and sometimes he has to take measures that are somewhat drastic to remind me that he is my one true Lover. I wish it was easy for me to learn this lesson. But, it’s not. I wish I ran to God as quickly as I run to humans. But, I don’t. I wish that humans didn’t fail me so often. But, they do. I wish I didn’t rely humans to be the source of all my comfort. But, I do.
Will I ever get it right this side of Heaven? Doubtful. But, thankfully I have a God that refuses to give up on me. I have a God that will take every measure necessary to remind me that He is always there for me. In my loneliness and darkest moments His love holds the key to peace, comfort and love that fills every nook and cranny of my broken and wounded heart.
