The Seed of Bitterness
Struggling many times with disappointment and wondering how it turns into anger and bitterness. It seems without much warning the whole world can turn upside down within my heart. WOW! what or how did that happen. God is always awesome to lead me to something that shines a light on my heart..this week HE led me to http://www.lynseleanne.com/blog/2009/07/09/thoughts-on-authenticity/, if you get a chance to read this, i am thinking her questions will do a work in your heart as well...
While praying and talking with a couple close friends, God revealed to me why the anger, and why is it so difficult to leave it alone. Disappointment plants a seed of Bitterness, so disappointment must be confronted immediately. I rarely do this. My childhood has scarred a aside of me that God is continuing to work on. (For that I am grateful) In the past, if someone hurt me, or wronged me in any way, I was taught to "suck it up", "get over it", "move on". None of which is a Godly way to deal with things. So as I oppress my anger and hurt, disappointment, the seed of bitterness is planted, ultimately robbing me of the joy that I hold dear to my heart.
Here is where I am today, confronting the hurt, and the disappointment, and refusing a seed of bitterness. Remembering that when I stand before God, I will have to be accountable for my own choices, and not that of others. Do I still have to love them? yes I do, but with the love of Jesus, and not my own love that I try to conjure up. Authentic love comes from God, and HE is willing to fill us over and over and over again. But the seed of bitterness will keep that from happening.
Can you see how subtle the enemy gets in and tries to destroy, although you are the one being wronged? Confront with the Word of God, love in HIS power, refuse the seed of bitterness...then look at the image of Jesus that is showing through your reflection. Awesome! My desire is to be more like HIM, to be authentic in my following in Christ, and to remove any places, that would keep me from HIM.
